Kids with Apple laptops.

Despite the debate that was evoked by Detriot's article on Stephen Harper, no blood was spilled at the Syphilitic Mermaids (Sm2) launch. Magazine launchs, especially those held in Toronto, are typically held as an excuse to consume alcohol and give out 'free' copies of magazines that will inevitably by use to sop up spilled beer, so it was unusual to see people reading and discussing the material.

With the exception of some Mississauga, visual fartist, douche bag (who was selling what appeared to be vomit and bus transfers on masonite, and contrived sketches of low-budget OC girlfriend and Miles Davis) the evening was filled with friendly people who had interesting things to say. However, most women are not impressed by freelance writers who manage small press publishing companies -- go figure.

"You kids write books? How charming!"

Seymour Samuel Detroit has been relatively industrious these past few months. While attending to his 'spiritual' labourings (ghostwriting for a handful of trade publications) he has been preparing the odd essay for the recently launched Syphilitic Mermaids (SM2) webzine/print zine. He has even caved in and started a blog, albeit a poorly maintained one.

Always the anti-image rebel, Seymour flat out refused to have his photo taken by the SM2 photographer. So Theo stood in as Seymour, although the two look nothing alike.

Theo Marcoux will be finishing up the school before getting to work on the final draft of (what will most likely byentitled) Artificial Grassroots. It should be released sometime in mid-October in both a 'conservative edition' and a 'Marxist edition.' One edition will feature artwork prepared by the Frankfurt School of Industry, for circulation in Canada, while the other will be entrusted to the skillful hands at Fresh Cheese!

We call it 'opportunity conservativism'

Essayist Seymour Samuel Detroit has become a regular feature writer for the new Toronto-based general interest magazine Syphilitic Mermaids -- also known as sm squared, or Syph mag. Some who have seen the preliminary work claim that Syph magazine is poised to become the Vice magazine for budding intellects and genuine cynics. We're not too sure where Seymour fits into that description, but nonetheless the editor came looking for him.

Back, and blacker than ever.

Our first book is on it's way, and it's a work of non-fiction at that. Provisionally titled, Boarderline Broadcasting: the Process and Politics of Engaging in Mass Media, the book amalgamates a video broadcasting how-to guide and a college master-class text with a manifesto that draws upon critical theory. Thanks to advancements in technology, the mass media can finally be engaged and shaped, on a primary level, but it's namesake -- the masses. While anyone can own a video camera, few have the skills to produce viewable programming. And since lacklustre programming threatens the future of this emerging medium, the book aims to educate would-be producers on the technical and cultural aspects of video production. Written by I Could Move To Toronto's Theo Marcoux, a professional director, videographer and (former) scriptwriter, the book promises to be one of the definitive works in the field of media studies.

America's Next Top Misanthrope

This what has become of video art. Link.

Stop asking questions that you aready know the answers to...

After spending a year as a neglected (abandoned) experimental blog, icouldmovetotoronto.blogspot.com is being made-over into, what will most certainly be, a scantly updated (neglected) vanity project blog. We doubt that anyone will notice or mourn the loss of witty self-indulgence, but it's time to emerge a anew as the I Could Move To Toronto Press.




The I Could Move To Toronto Press is a publishing company based in the lower suburbs (the hinterland of the suburbs, if you will) of the Greater Toronto [Free-Trade] Area [of the Americas]. Geographically, we're located above Toronto, but despite what of politicians might spout, that doesn't put us above the city.

Just as the smog almost ends at the edge of the GTA, so too does the cultural influence of the most powerful city in the holy trinity of Canadian cities (Montreal and Vancouver being the other two). Yet on a clear day, you can see the CN from our tallest hill. Thankfully we can't smell Spadina on a hot day from the same vantage point, but yet something drives the local creatives to contemplate, muse and philosphize about Toronto. This is unique trait that only exhibited in the most listless and genuine of local creatives. Its an uneasiness, an idiosyncrasy and a muse that can only be described as claustrophobic inspiration. This condition is what informs the I Could Move To Toronto Press philosophy.

The name, I Could Move To Toronto, has its origins in an actual dialogue between two creatives, a painter and a filmmaker. Both lived and worked in different hamlets and both sustained themselves and their work through petty, unrelated employment in the service sector.

Painter: I can't take this anymore, I'm great artist but aren't opportunties for people with my vision in this shitty town.
Filmmaker: I know what you mean. There isn't a cultural industry in this town -- not even in this region.
Painter: You know, I can paint, I can design websites, I can design logos, I can draw, I could move to Toronto and do all of that.
Filmmaker: You and every other person just like you.

The painter's gravity impassioned assertion and the filmmaker's curt retort need to be absorbed if you really what to grasp what the I Could Move To Toronto Press is all about. But of course, small town folk already get it.

Mocking the media

An Open Letter to Peter McKay, Deputy Leader of the Conservative Party of Canada:

Dear Pete,

Conservatives like yourself and socialists like myself don't share a lot of common interests and values. In fact, it would be fair to say that we live conflicting lives. But there's one issue that we do see eye to eye on, and it's heartbreak. Let's put partisan interests aside and talk about this issue. Yesterday, Belinda Stronach dumped you in a most questionable and heartless way. To most it was a political shocker, and they forgot about the human fall out of her opportunism; your broken heart.

I saw you on the National a few minutes ago and you looked terrible. You were reserved, distant and I would wager that you just didn't give a damn about the interview and forgot about your party's ideals. You feel very hard for this girl, I can gather this from your choice of words to describe the relationship. You said that you were 'smitten' by her. That's a very powerful word coming from a right-winger hero of the West. Maybe some guys in central Canada would use it, but never a self-respecting man of the right. But I can understand why you were smitten. Hey, finding a girl who shares your interests is next to impossible, and finding one who fits the afformentioned description and likes you back is even harder. But finding a girl who shares your interests, is attractive, stinking rich and likes you back, well that's just too good to be true. By the way, you also said that you and her were getting along 'famously'. Sorry man, but even a pinko-socialist like myself wouldn't use famously in a sentence. So reel in the bubbly syntax before you run for leader.

Enjoy your down time back at home in Nova Scotia, and look on the brightside. You're not Tony Clement!! I like to tell myself that once in awhile and seems to work for me, so give it a shot.

Peace out, and maybe if this SMP thing ever gets off the ground and I start making enough taxable income, I'll vote for you (but don't hold your breathe)

Sincerly,
S.S. Detroit

P.S.: Is it just me, or is Edmonton-Spruce Grove MP Rona Ambrose totally in love with Stephan Harper? I see the way she laughs at his bad jokes during question period, so I'm starting to get the feeling that she does.